onsdag 27 januari 2016

Everything I do feels wrong? jadri

So I've felt like all I do is wrong recently, and selfvictimized alot and shit like
alot of bad things has happend recently and I wonder why me, get frustrated, angry, and ofcourse try to fix the problem.
And I dont give up, even if it feels like fkn hell and I just want to go and hide somewhere and sleep sometimes, but I dont give up.
Even now, when sometimes it feels like I'm doing wrong things all the time because adults yell at me and shit, no one seems to understand me and that shit.

But when you feel like you are wrong or have done something wrong, there is nothing to do but apologize and try to do the best thing for you and the people around you.
I have done my best, and I have made mistakes and stressed out and shit but you know what, I'm not perfect and I'm all alone here in this fkn country without anyone but me in the end, so hell yeah i dont think it's wrong to take care of myself and shit.
Everyone are selfish, and sometimes it can be a bad thing but something a good thing,
what I mean is that
How much I even wish for it to be 'right' and 'wrong' there is no such thing
all there is are your own feelings, other peoples feelings, and rules.

How much I wish for things to be as easy as 'black' and 'white' and 'right' wrong' and 'god' 'no god' you know like there is no real answer to those things
and we live too short to wonder about shit whether its right or wrong or if theres a god or not and then forget the actual living part you know
Thats why, after many and long times of thinking, I've come to realize to the best way is to stop thinking about things that are impossible to have answers to.
Just fuck that and go apologize if someone feels upset and then go on.
Life is about facing problems, apologizing, thanking, doing your best to make you and others feel ok, and have fun. There might be no god or reason to it, but we have to treasure the time we have here right now. Not waste it on questions without answers and who make you feel bad.
Bye to that
amen lmao

1 kommentarer:

Rakel sa...

BROOOR jag mådde fett dåligt för ett tag sedan och kände att allt jag gjorde var fel jag vet precis vad du menar. Drömde varje natt att jag gjorde något dumt, typ hade sönder en vas eller spillde kaffe på soffan eller så. Kände mig så otroligt otillräcklig och bara sämst på allt. Men det är bättre nu, och jag hoppas det blir bättre för dig också. Inte långt kvar tills du kommer ifrån din nuvarande värdfamilj ju!

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