måndag 25 januari 2016

Japan Exchange student confessions - Cultural Differences - Masterpost 1

Now Im gong to talk about differences between japanese culture and my own bicultural persona.
Since I came to Japan, I've been exposed to many different perspectives and way of lives, but none of them were as big as the ones I've come across now.
My hostfamilies before this one I currently have, were so open and accepting of my own culture and philosophy. They tried to understand and thus learn from me, as I tried to understand and learn from them in a mutual respect and love. This was how I thought it was supposed to be to fully understand and learn to live with each other and love each other mutually.
But now it is wrong.

Now when I change hostfamily, I immediately felt that something was wrong, as I've written in my previous posts.
But I want to explain it further and more in depth.
My current hostmother wants me to change my own self, my own culture, personality, way of thinking and integrity. That's one of the reasons I constantly feel uncomfortable around her, because whenever she speaks to me it's always about how she wants me to be and not how I am now.
That is to destroy me so I can be the way she wants to.
Its scary as fuck and I'm extremely happy that I'm going to change hostfamilies soon. Also something I had to do all by myself because the organization I'm going with wouldn't let me nor wanted me too. They are also too slow.
So I decided to take it in my own hands and talked to various friends in school about wanting a new hostfamily, and when I found the perfect match I wrote a letter myself in japanese, gave it to my future hostsister so she could give it to her family.
I didn't do it all alone though, I have two amazing teachers in this school that helped me through it all. I'm so incredibly thankful for them to understand me and help me, because they are everything I have and were the last one I could hope for. I don't want to imagine how it would be if I hadn't had them by my side. But what I want to say is that in the end I had to do everything by myself and that diBec ( or JAC ) sucks ass and doesnt want to understand their exchange students or help the, they just want them to become like the japanese. And that's so wrong because we're not.

Exchange is not about becoming another person or 100% become as the ideal culture-following person, it is to keep your own countries culture and ideas and show them to your exchange country, while learning about the one you're in right now.
But that's what my japanese organization and current hostfamily wants me to do.
And it's hurting me, because I don't want to become like them. I want to be here to learn about them, see, observe, take notes, but if I came here for that reason my hostmothers said that she will call diBec and they will send me home. And that fucks me up.

Some examples my hostmother wants me to do is to go to school, even though I am sick and have a cold, because that's what japanese people do.
She knows that school doesnt matter to me and that I should focus on becoming better so I can do my best culturally and socially instead of academically, since I'm going to repeat a year when I come back. But yet she insist on pushing her own values on mine, even if they don't make any sense to me.
She also said that I shouldn't have met my friend yesterday because I was sick, but before that she told me japanese culture is that if you make a promise you should always keep it, and I made a promise with my friend to meet her, just like she told me japanese people do,
but then she suddenly changed and said that because I was a foreigner I always break promises so it's okay if I would have broken that yesterday.
Japanese people also do it, and I should prioritize school instead of friends.
 I know about prioritizing because I do it in Sweden all the time, but now I'm not here for school I'm here to make friends and cultural exchange, so while I'm here my priorities have changed. School doesnt matter to me that much, I told her. But she then said that because my school took me in I should be grateful, and I am, but I don't think the best way to return the favor to them is to stress out myself. I am always doing my best, and trying to, but I can't be perfect either and I need rest too, I'm not a robot, I'm not japanese,
 I'm a exchange student.

1 kommentarer:

Anonym sa...

Stay positive and keep looking forword to the good things that might come your way,you are strong and brave and have courage for taking action against your *bleep* host mom so I hope the program understands!! Keep your hopes up!! #Fighting

Skicka en kommentar

Blog Template by Delicious Design Studio